An Insane Week Five Journey

Once again its been a stressful week, packing boxes to move, arranging transportation and trucking services, preparing the children for school in another place, and the list continues to go on and on. I honestly didn't start any of my homework until last night, which is usually when I am finishing up the week's projects and assignments.

I had a long day, and thought it would be nice to sit down and do the relaxation exercises. I spent all afternoon running errands with my wife and tying up loose ends before we take off for Pittsburgh this weekend. Then 15 minutes after I got home I went to my last Fire Department meeting. They were all sad to see me go, and wished me the best of luck for the move and the job I landed overseas.

I sat down, took a few sips of water, and started the exercise. At first it helped me relax, but again I had a hard time concentrating. I guess I dozed off to sleep, because just as the exercise was finishing my wife came downstairs and woke me up, asking if I was alright. I was officially worn out for the day, stick a fork in me because I was done.

I tried again today, but must have the most concentration problems ever. The phone rang, my children called for me to come help them, dinner was ready, it just wasn't happening. I either need a sound proof room, or some medication to control my thoughts and ability to focus!

I tried it a third time once I was done with other assignments, the kids were in bed, and my wife was visiting the neighbors. All I could focus on was things I needed to do in the next four days before I left for Pittsburgh. I can't concentrate! I actually got frustrated after the third attempt and gave up.

Then a thought came through my head and I laughed, with the way this semester is going I'll get a chance to do it all over again because I just might have to repeat this class.

Week four exercises

Alright I'm going to be totally honest hear, I couldn't concentrate on the exercises again let alone come up with some really positive feedback about them. Its been a heck of a week and I'm not in the best state of mind. I'll continue to try these again but won't have enough time to do it again and come up with a really informative blog post. Sorry to be a dissappointment, but maybe next week will hold better things.

The relaxation exercise, week three

I'll be honest, I'm having a hard time focusing right now. I just finished seminar for my other class, and I have an hour and a half to finish the rest of my coursework for the week. I have had a few beers tonight, trying to relax and let the days worries go away. My wife is stressed out, so its hard to rely on her tonight to help me talk and relieve my stress because I need to be strong for her and the kids. I try to focus on the relaxation exercise, and find myself drifting off to the days events in a sort of a day dream. I went to work for a few hours putting in windows for somebody to make a few bucks, I had to go to the ATM just to buy groceries for supper, and picked up the children for dance. The real estate agent came over and explained the whole selling aspect of my house, and I was dissappointed. Three years plus I spend in this part of the country, working to make a living and a life for myself and my family. The countless nights and days I spent away from home filter through my head, convinced that I was doing what a husband and father should. Now I have no job, frustration overcomes me, and I feel angry inside because I have gave so much but have nothing to show for it. I come out of my daydream and hear a segment on love, and think of my wife and children, they are what is most important. I think of the smiles and laughs during the day, they are few but yet so refreshing. My children don't see me as a person that is struggling to figure life out, only one that cares and makes them laugh even when times are the worst. I have a moment of bliss, realizing that all isn't bad in the world, and finally notice the segment has ended. Another relaxation exercise that I couldn't concentrate on, but yet provided me with a few minutes of relaxation and calmness none the less.

Week 3 Exercises... Here we go again.

Having to rate my physical, spiritual, and pyschological well being is a difficult task, but here we go! For physical well being I give myself a 7, I need to quit smoking, exercise more often, and eat better foods. I especially need to find some high intensity exercise opportunities like boxing to help vent a little frustration and wear myself out. If I have to I will make my own heavy bag and spend time everynight beating it down, lol. For spiritual well being, I give myself a 6, I long to find my purpose in life and fear I have fallen off the path years ago and never knew it. What will make me feel whole again? A new career? A nicer place to live? Feeling like I have a purpose? I don't know, and that's an honest answer. Perhaps I need to place myself in a serene environment and meditate on it for a while, not that I have ever done that, but it might be a start. For psychological well being I rate myself a 9, although I am stressed I am doing my best to remain strong for myself and my family during this time of hardship. Attitude is everything. You can take everything else away from me, but you'll never take my strength. I will continue to work towards finding a solution for my problems, and eliminating stressors one by one.

Journey on Relaxation Exercise... My Reflections

I would love to say that I found the exercise deeply relaxing and enjoyable, but that wouldn't be entirely true. The sound of the narrators voice didn't soothe me, perhaps I would respond better to soft voice of a woman. Throughout the exercise I found my mind unfocused and wandering off. Thoughts of the day lofted through my head, as it has been a stressful and high paced one. My back hurt, my shoulders were sore, I thought about my posture and sat up a little straighter. I tried to focus again, but only drifted off into my own little world. Thoughts of Iraq bounced through my head. The oven like heat that filled the day, were a gentle breeze felt more like standing next to a furnace. The sandstorms that would cover the horizon with a soft brown color, and then draw closer as you couldn't see five feet in front of your face. I snapped back into reality, and heard the narrator still, this time concluding his thing, and I thought about what just happened, but realized I must have been relaxed in a way.

Welcome to my blog

My name is Adam Bouse, and I am a student at Kaplan University. This is my blog for HW420, feel free to make any comments you wish and I hope you enjoy my messed up but entertaining opinions and feelings.